Thursday, January 11, 2007

Free from the clutches of men.

When I was going back to the place where Wilbert was supposed to meet me with his two ice creams, I saw him sitting there alone. With empty hands. I was ready to tell him that it was finally officially off with Lloyd. But he looked at me with teary eyes and bleeding hands. Apparently he punched a wall too hard it made his knuckles bleed. Where is the innocent fun loving Wilbert that I knew? I was ready to give my self to him but he stood up, said nothing and walked away.

I saw the ice cream thrown by the bushes.

Poor guy. And what a waste of vanilla. It made me wonder if I would ever taste his vanilla though.

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Monday, January 8, 2007


An innocent look at things

Wilbert is a jolly, noisy and funny person. The girls say he is a pervert because he talks all day of green jokes and sexual fantasies. I refused to believe he was a pervert. You don’t know perversion like I do.

Wilbert was sweet. He sits beside me in class even in other classes where he is not supposed to be. He always offers to take me home and accompanies me during lunch. He always follows me around even when I go to the girl’s room or gym class. He calls me at home just to ask silly questions like homework and tv shows. Sometimes during weekends he visits me and offers to watch a movie or a musical at school. I often refuse though. I called him my little stalker who never gives up.

I always gave him the signal that I was not interested but never had I felt to be mean enough to directly tell that to him. Until people around us noticed our closeness. The girls told me to be warned of his intentions because he was a “pervert” but I never saw that in him. He was just trying to be funny.

One day I finally wrote back to his tons of letters. I wrote on my desk while he was beside me the words “yayu”. He looked and baby-talked to me and said “yayu too”. From that day on we were stuck like glue. I was laughing all the time. In short, I had fun days with him.

Love? Yayu is a baby talk saying Love You. But do I love him? Days pass and my expectations from this relationship grew deeper. If he was the pervert they were all talking about, how come we only kissed a few times? He never touched me except for my hands, or when he moves my hair covering my face to the back of my ears. Sometimes I made him feel my boobs to his arm acting innocent and unintentionally, but he moves away and fixes me in a position he calls “I don’t want people to give wrong impressions about you”. But I yearn to say back that I want him to be a pervert. I want him to abuse me. But I’m not used to be the dominant one. So I kept still.

A month or so came and I was getting bored. Wilbert was with me all the time, and yet never proposed to bring me anywhere, nor do anything to me. One day Lloyd came to school. He literally fell on his knees and begged me to come back. I looked the other way and people started staring at us. Everybody knew who he was. And he was gaining more and more attention as his voice grew louder asking me to at least talk to him. I saw Wilbert by the distance carrying two cones of ice cream. I turned rebellious to his annoying sweetness that I stood up and went with Lloyd. “I’ll only give you a few minutes” But his wide grin, the grin that I always saw whenever we enter a room in a hotel, the grin that leads to the thing that I miss the most, being brought to bed, gave me flashbacks and even made me a little moist.

So I went with Lloyd to the park at school and waited for him to talk me into going back to his arms.

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