Monday, April 2, 2007

Goodbye Kevin

Victim: Daisy, the first instance

The few months I spent with Kevin were pure ecstasy. But I soon learned that I was not his only girl. I got a call from another girl who claimed to be his wife. She wanted to meet me and she said he was not only fooling the two of us but a new girl every month. She said Kevin play with girls as a flavor of the month and it will only ruin me if I stayed with him. I wasn’t surprised that he had other girls. He was so handsome, he had a huge tool and could I control someone who was that older than me? I only enjoyed being his princess and making me satisfied with my body that his being exclusively mine was far from my mind. But I didn’t expect that he was married. The so-called wife arranged a meeting with me. And I showed up in my daisy skirt that Kevin gave me. She showed me photos of them and their son proving she was really who she claimed to be. She confronted me but was surprised at how young I was that she didn’t get mad. And I was surprised at how old she was compared to me too. She told me how they met and I sensed how she loved him that she was willing to forgive him. But she also confessed that Kevin knows that she will meet up with me, but not today, and not on that place. She said Kevin threatened to leave her and their kid and take me away and will give up everything just to be with me. Coming from her, that made me proud with my self but felt sorry for her. She wore a plain shirt and jeans, thin and flat-chested. Her hair was a bit unkempt and she had sad weary eyes that seemed either cried the whole night or wide awake for days. She was hardly even someone that I will be jealous of, I thought. And it was enough for me to know that he was willing to give up everything for me. I didn’t challenge that thought though, because I felt sorry for the girl and their kid.

She even said several instances where she doubted he was with other girls. But the places she said, and the instances were so familiar that I knew it was me and it has always been just me. There was no flavor of the month. It was me in changing form as he made me who I am that day I met with his wife.

That night Kevin called me up crying and begging to meet me. He wanted to run away with me. I refused and said I was too young for that. I also said that he should think about what he was doing with himself. He said he did and he chooses me. He said he wanted me, and only me. I gave a little laugh thinking of how his wife cried to me and begged me also. I said I’m doing this for his wife and for himself. I hang up the phone and removed the receiver’s plug. I tried to sleep after that, but what kept me company throughout the night were my tears and the photos that he took of us. The next day I burned them all and hoped that the memories of him will crumble down like ashes and fade with the wind.

Then as I watched the flames burn memories of Kevin and me, I told to myself that there was no happy ever after, there was no love that lasts forever, and there was no such thing as first love that never dies.

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